2nd Team Profiles
by BFJ for 2006/07
Ian Lednor-GK/Cheerleader-
Ian is the rock of the team learning all his fancy moves froom the film “The Matrix”, he likes to brag that Greek
gods made him out of marble and can withstand the power of any shot. His other hobbies include rugby and womble hunting.
Ian Pringle-Defender-
The left third of defence. Although from his vacant expression you would believe that he was on some kind of mind altering
substance (god knows how many times the police have stopped and searched him for such items) he is in a game quite awake,
most of the time. But the trouble with Ian is away games and how him and his so called trusty sat-nav can end up in many new
areas all excluding match venues, but with persistence he does make push backs in time.
Ali Leece-Defender-
The central third of defence. This player is the most dangerous of all the defenders, not so much for the opposition but more
for our goalkeeper. Ali can score an own goal from anywhere. Luckily for the 2nd team we usually have quite good
goalkeepers thus keeping Ali’s record to a minimum.
Adam Robinson-Defender-
The most aggressive of the 3. his no nonsense attitude to defending clears up any messing about by show-pony attackers, most
of the time this involves his body making sure that his stick will have a longer life span.
Steve Ellsmore-Another
3rd of the defence- Although his hair has gone from large to super massive Steve has put in great consistent performances
with his reverse tackle ever present (he’s basically like Stretch Armstrong with a hockey stick). Along with hockey,
according to google, Steve is an up and coming sculptor with his next show coming out in the summer
Matt Thompson-Midfielder-Small
and compact like a Ford Fiesta or a sausage roll; matt is a machine, running all through the match until he scores, luckily
he doesn’t score too often and so ends up running a lot, but he will get a lot of assists.
Paul Fowler
(captain)- Midfielder- Shakespeare reborn, his wise words lead the 2nd team to many a victory and many a beer.
As the defensive midfielder of the team Paul sits back and watches the magic that goes on up front and le resistance that
goes on behind him. His technique was brought about through a still-life art class where he saw a model and said “that
would be perfect for me on a hockey pitch” and so he’s been using it ever since.
Ben Duckworth-Midfielder-
Ben has added passing to his list of hockey skills this season which baffles opposition but more so his team mates. With the
ego of a small galaxy Ben uses the gravitational force of it to swing him passed
players as he dribbles up to the D where he inevitably tries a drag flick or his devastating 1.5 metre strike.
Jason Long-
Midfielder/Forward/Entrepreneur of classical jigsaws- Is starting to get back to form with getting on the score sheet a fair
few times this season along with more assists. His major skill is drinking on a Friday night, which he brings to every game,
fired up and ready to unleash.
Steve Cookson-Midfielder-
Has shocked the hockey world by scoring this season…which was aided in by the opposition goal keeper, local sources
discovered later that the goalkeeper was paid the princely sum of 50 rubies and a chicken.
Will Hertz-Hog-
Midfielder- The Ginger Ninja has been steadily putting goals in from all angles this season. Although had a spell in the 1st
team his shop lifting got the better of him and he was moved back to the mighty mighty. Tesco’s is still one babysham
bottle down so if Will could bring it back it would help with their recycling campaign
Rob Young-
Forward/retired defender- Has made a big impact up front with his Moses like goals. When defenders see the size of his back
swing they tend to part like the mythical river to take shelter. This is very understandable, as the 2nd team have
been doing the same for the last few years from his clearances and 16’s.
Andy Hoggarth-Forward-
Was having a good season upfront until the 1st team got hold of him , now he is nursing the remaining limbs he
has left but hopes to make a quick comeback, although his wife thinks differently.
Alid Yarvis-Forward-
Can dribble out of a maze of giant spaghetti, although the first team have made numerous attempts to sign him for a whooping
fee of a bag of jelly babies Fowler has managed to keep hold of the hitman.
Ben McVitties-McDonald’s-Mc-McTaggart-
Forward/part time cheese manufacturer- Made a big impact on his debut with a hat trick and has carried on to sneak them in..apart
from penalty stokes.
Bryn Ford-Jones
– Forward (can win a game from anywhere, even the bench)- He thinks Papa Smurf is evil and likes to wear Retro 80's
Hockey Kit. He is a Scorpio, looking for female, 18-22 yrs old, likes good times out, long walks on the beach and mini
adventures usually involving pineapples.
Tim Brooker-Midfielder/air hostess- A machine
on the field of honour completing above 3000 miles in some games just to get to the pitch from work. Tim's work rate inevitably
got him his goal of the season against Alderley Edge (but even then they were only allowed 10 players for the phenomenon to
occur).
Ali Smylie-Midfielder- When he's not skiing Ali is charging down the
left flank like a
dog on heat. This has led to him putting many a goal away for the 2's, most importantly the one against Bowdon that led us
back up to the top of the league. A Tim Brooker in the making Al's work rate also works in the other end of the ptch with
him putting body between oppo and goal which Bowdon's right winger will know all about.
